Finding What We Love Through Happiness

This chapter will discuss philosophical approaches to happiness and well being. One of the central features of human beings is the desire to live our lives in a way that will allow us to find happiness, joy, and peace during our existence.

In the context of the humanities, we will explore various forms of spirituality, philosophies, and well-being practices from around the world and how these practices seek to assist humans in living meaningful lives and finding a sense of overall wellness. And we will look at various perceptions of well-being through media, art, and literature and how artistic expression is a means of expressing spirituality, happiness, and joy.

In Pursuit of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is a concept enshrined in our cultural ideology in the United States, and is clearly identified in the Declaration of Independence. Is it then the pursuit of happiness rather than the attainment of such that brings us the greatest joy? Is it possible to ever reach a perpetual state of happiness, or is life simply punctuated by both happy and difficult times?

In a quote commonly attributed to John Lennon, he describes the pursuit of happiness: “When I was five-years-old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

Nature or Nurture?

Is happiness something we have to be conscious about working for, or does it just sneak up on us when we least expect it? How much control do we have over our happiness? The good news is that researchers have found quite a bit of information. In Ten Steps to Happiness, by Islamic Scholar Ustadha Bint Ahmad, she explores the work of a renowned global equity strategist and behavioral psychologist, James Montier, who concluded in his research, The Psychology of Happiness,” that psychologists have found that happiness is comprised of three components:

1. About 50 percent of individual happiness comes from a genetic set point. That is, we’re each predisposed to a certain level of happiness. Some of us are just naturally more inclined to be cheery than others.
2. About 10 percent of our happiness is due to our circumstances: demographic factors, age, gender, ethnicity, and geographic factors. It also includes personal history and life status.
3. The remaining 40 percent of an individual’s happiness is derived from intentional activity, from discrete actions or practices that we choose to do. 1

This is good news in that the things commonly attributed to happiness such as money, possessions and life status only contribute to 10 percent of our overall well being. The better news is that we have full control over 40 percent of our happiness and well being in relation to what we choose as intentional activities in our life.

Aristotle also said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” In her novel, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert echoed those sentiments when she wrote, “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” Helen Keller agreed as well when she stated, “Happiness does not come from without, it comes from within.” How do we go about cultivating it from within?

Abraham Lincoln famously said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Is happiness and wellness a state of mind? If so, how does that account for mental illnesses like depression and anxiety? Is there a limit to how happy a person can be? Can we be truly happy all the time? Do we have to know sadness to truly experience joy? The author C.S. Lewis said, “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal.”

Happiness and Mental Health

In recent years the term subjective well being (SWB), has become the seminal phrase used in serious research when exploring the concept of how to measure and articulate a person’s happiness. What does subjective well being mean? Does it only measure happiness? What is the difference between subjective well being and happiness? Is there a difference between joy and happiness?

What does it mean to be happy? Is it a mental state of well being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy? For decades, psychologists have studied sadness and depression, but it wasn’t until the 1990s that they started to study happiness or positive psychology. Can science explain happiness? Can happiness be measured? What is happiness anyway?

The good news is that psychological research is beginning to show that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment. “Acknowledging the complexity of life may be an especially fruitful path to psychological well being,” says psychologist Jonathan M. Adler of the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering. 1

Negative emotions also most likely aid in our survival. Bad feelings can be vital clues that a health issue, relationship, or other important matter needs attention, Adler points out. 2

Trying to suppress negative emotions has also been found to be unproductive. Sitting with uncomfortable, negative feelings and facing them head on instead of trying to avoid them or escape them and getting to know them is a key practice of Buddhism. In When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times, Pema Chödrön, the first female American Buddhist monk references Buddha while framing our concept of suffering. She states “The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. What a relief. Finally somebody told the truth. Suffering is part of life, and we don’t have to feel it’s happening because we personally made the wrong move. In reality, however, when we feel suffering, we think that something is wrong. As long as we’re addicted to hope, we feel that we can tone our experience down or liven it up or change it somehow, and we continue to suffer a lot.” The only way to overcome this avoidance of negative emotions is to consciously sit with the pain. Chödrön emphasizes the importance of this practice when she states, “Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” The inevitability of suffering expressed here and the acceptance here is the key to happiness. It must be emphasized that this is seen as a practice in the sense that you can not automatically learn to sit with negative feelings, that such an approach takes time and practice. Chödrön explains, “So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds, we sit with that restlessness; when yesterday, we couldn’t sit for even one, that’s the journey of the warrior”.

Consider why in western culture we have a tendency to dismiss negative thinking as unproductive.

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” The famous French writer, mathematician, inventor, physicist, and theologian (talk about a polymath!), Blaise Pascal concurred with Aristotle when he said, “All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end.” Actress and humanitarian, Audrey Hepburn said, “The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy. It’s all that matters.”

If our well-being and happiness is so crucial to our existence, how do we go about finding it and living it? Does it come through fame, friends, wealth, popularity, kindness, community?

Measuring Happiness

In recent years, the term subjective well-being or SWB has become the seminal phrase used in serious research when exploring the concept of how to measure and articulate a person’s happiness. What does subjective well-being mean? Does it only measure happiness? What is the difference between subjective well-being and happiness? Is there a difference between joy and happiness?

The United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network conducts studies that measure happiness. Their results are published annually in the World Happiness Report. Their researchers question citizens from countries across the globe to gauge their perceived happiness levels. The report attempts to show that peoples’ quality of happiness can be assessed by a series of subjective well-being measures. One might expect results showing that developed countries have a higher level of happiness or wellness than their third or even fourth world counterparts. However, there is no definitive correlation that exists between the two. Indeed, the World Happiness Report “urges readers to treat the evidence as suggestive rather than conclusive.” So, what are the measures for happiness? Does materialism make us happy? Certainly, to some extent having our most basic needs met is key to finding happiness. However, how much is enough? Does happiness and wellness include the ability to acknowledge and grapple with other emotions including sadness, disappointment, and fear? What have philosophers said about this topic? The Stoics would say you only need your basic needs met. In his book, Democracy in America, French historian and political scientist, Alexis de Tocqueville included a chapter on Why the Americans Show Themselves So Restive in the Midst of Their Well-Being. He observed the “strange melancholy” often haunting the inhabitants of democracies in the midst of abundance. Henry David Thoreau made his own critique on his fellow Americans and felt that people had let their priorities get skewed and that we need to simplify our lives.

Is Happiness Contagious?

Denmark has been consistently ranked as the happiest country on earth. What are some of the identifiable characteristics of this country that could possibly contribute to this sense of happiness and well-being? Like most European and Scandinavian countries, Denmark has free health care and free college. It also has state mandated lengthy maternity and paternity leave. It also has the highest rate of co-housing anywhere in the world. Co-housing is an intentional community of individual homes that center around a communal space where residents often eat together or come together for activities. This is arguably a significant factor in overall happiness when we consider the research of psychologist Howard Cutler, who while researching happiness with the 14th Dalai Lama found that social isolation was one of the most significant factors in reducing happiness and a sense of well-being. They also found that social media and increasingly long work hours have contributed to this sense of social isolation. Co-housing creates, as do other institutions such as religious communities, a sense of social support, which could be one of the reasons religious people are consistently found to be happier than those who not profess a faith. Watch the short video below that discusses the merits of co-housing. Also, listen to the podcast that explores the epidemic of increasing social isolation. Consider what you think about co housing communities. Would you enjoy living in a built-in social structure? As humans, we tend to naturally shy away from or be apologetic for experiencing negative emotions. Negative emotions have many possible causes. They could be reactionary in terms of responding to a negative comment, situation, or temporary setback. They may be indicative of a broader mental health challenge. Regardless of the source, all humans will experience negative emotions at some point in their life.

What impact does a sense of community have on one’s level of well-being? Do we need others to be happy? In Epicurus’s A Guide to Happiness he wrote, “Of all the means to ensure happiness throughout the whole life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.”

In this age of virtual reality and almost universal access to technology do we still need human interaction? Does knowing your neighbors really make a difference?

There is much to consider when looking at the topic of well-being. The questions presented in this introduction are just a handful of those we will discuss as we take a deeper dive into a variety of perspectives about what it means to have a strong sense of well-being.

Secular Belief Structures

For many this sense of happiness and well-being is found through spirituality and rituals associated with spirituality—for others, this is not important to the happiness of day to day life.  For some, happiness is best found in secular paths of thinking and behavior.

Humanism

Humanism emphasizes a belief in the human experience and rational thinking as the determinant of our knowledge and the development and implementation of our morals. It is a system of education and mode of inquiry that originated in northern Italy during the 13th and 14th centuries and later spread through continental Europe and England. Humanism has its emphasis in the human realm as opposed to the metaphysical.

Some basic facts about Humanism (source, BBC Humanism)

• There are no supernatural beings.
• The material universe is the only thing that exists.
• Science provides the only reliable source of knowledge about this universe.
• We only live this life – there is no after-life, and no such thing as reincarnation.
• Human beings can live ethical and fulfilling lives without religious beliefs.
• Human beings derive their moral code from the lessons of history, personal experience, and thought.

Humanism is a rational philosophy that is informed by science, inspired by artifacts of human experience and is directed by compassion for self and others. Humanism affirms the dignity of each human being. It also affirms that human beings have the right and responsibility to give meaning and shape to their own lives

Existentialism

Existentialism is the belief that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. Existential belief holds that a person creates their own set of morals in response to their own situation and should not be influenced by any external or metaphysical beings in relation to such.

Some well known Existentialists are Jean Paul Sartre and Albert Camus who both lived in Paris during the 1940s. Sartre believed that essence precedes existence, that is we have to create our own lives, selves and values. He holds that we are born without a destiny, and what we create is up to us.

Some basic facts about Existentialism: (Source: Philosophy Basics)

• Existentialism is a movement in philosophy and literature that emphasizes individual existence, freedom and choice
• Existential thought began in the mid-to-late 19th Century, but reached its peak in mid-20th Century France
• Existentialism believes that there is no purpose or explanation at the core of existence
• Existential thought believes there is no God or any other transcendent force, the only way to counter this nothingness (and hence to find meaning in life) is by embracing existence
• Existentialism believes that individuals are entirely free and must take personal responsibility for themselves

Stoicism

Stoicism emphasizes virtue, while Aristotle argued that happiness was the only valuable trait that existed in isolation. He also emphasized the importance of virtue and that happiness without virtue is simply contentment. Plato places an emphasis on morality in the pursuit of happiness. He also sees a connection with fulfilling our social obligations in the pursuit of happiness. Epicurus emphasizes the indulgence of pleasure and avoidance of pain as a means to happiness. This may seem obvious, but it is important to note he is not advocating a hedonistic approach to life; he warns against over indulgence as this ultimately leads to pain. Think of it in terms of Epicurus advocating for more of a La Caille versus Chuckarama approach to life; that is, life should not be measured in quantity, but in quality. He also emphasizes the absence of fear. Epicurus maintained that God exists, but rather than man being created in God’s image, men liked to create God in their image, meaning that humans often characterize God as being in alignment with their own ideas and even political affiliations.

Some basic facts about Stoicism: (Source Britannica)

• Stoicism, a school of thought that flourished in Greek and Roman antiquity
• Stoics have always believed that the goal of all inquiry is to provide a mode of conduct characterized by tranquility of mind and certainty of moral worth
• Stoicism takes its name from the place where its founder, Zeno of Citium(Cyprus), customarily lectured—the Stoa Poikile(Painted Colonnade).

What does happiness have to do with love? In a romantic sense, happiness is linked to successful companionship, so yes, finding that “right person” matters.  We do better and are happier when we are not alone. It is also true that we we engage in activities that we love, we feel more fulfilled doing them. Happiness is not chasing some elusive desire, despite the popular thinking that tells us that getting that job, promotion, girl, boy, or pair of shoes will do it. Real happiness comes through gratitude and framing our thoughts – learning to appreciate and love who we are, where we are, and who we are with.